Something I came across earlier from this years journal - June 21st.
"Is the death of magic the saddest death of all? Watching the magic leave the land and fade like the half-remembered sunset? Nothing sustains -- all is cyclical -- the ebb and flow to which we cling. The donkey’s bray and claim it’s not true. The believers all point their crooked fingers, but they know it’s true in their heart of hearts... the magic has left the land. Maybe some day in the hazy future it will reappear again, but for now it’s enough to know it once existed, and to move forward in the world."
Does anyone even read blogs anymore? I have to wonder. I admit, I've been lazy about keeping this up. After pushing out two books in rapid succession (one released and one not yet released) I've wanted to do anything other than produce more verbiage. Even though work on the next book is stalling, I'm not worried about it. There's projects galore on the table and I couldn't be more thrilled even if I can't talk about them at this moment in time. And I'm extremely grateful because after a huge amount of hard work, I've caught a couple of lucky breaks.
Currently, I'm holed up at a friend's house way up in the canyon. Some place out of time where the coyotes sing at night, and the oak trees dance under the light of another super moon. I always need a break from the city to recharge. Especially with all the election trauma. I've watched the debates, but they've left me feeling like I've poked the rotting underbelly of some gangrenous animal in its death throes. I try not to turn my head away, but what's the lesson to be learned? He who dies with the most toys wins? I know from experience you cannot teach an entitled monster the error of their ways because they simply do not care. In fact, they love their soul-crushing ways. They love to inflict pain and destroy things because it makes them feel powerful. Well, that, and getting people to get onboard with their despicable behavior. I'm kind of surprised that anyone is shocked Trump has acted in such a blatantly misogynistic way and brushes it off as 'locker room talk'. Just like I'm surprised the word 'pussy' has the American public up in arms, especially after all the horrible racist comments that have been spewed forth. After the last loathsome debate, the pizza delivery man told me he thought Trump had handled himself really well -- much better than the time before. As I gaped at him, not quite believing my ears, I asked him what he saw in Trump. He told me Trump was for 'guys like him'. Then, he laughed and said I was like his daughter and she hates Trump, but she was smart, and that's why he sent her to college. I still can't wrap my head around his statement because it has nothing to do with qualification, or the bigger picture in general, but has to do with some weird, self-loathing, underdog identification, that has nothing to do with ones, and the nations, general safety and welfare. I'm not trying to man-bash here. The pizza guy was the first person I've come across who actually had a kind word about Trump, except some adamant, pro-lifer, who I blocked on FB, which shows how insular my world is. I totally get identifying with the underdog who is shaking up the system. There's a rebellious punk rock teenager raising a middle finger trapped within my adult body, but Trump isn't 'like him', and isn't for 'guys like him'. Trump's never been 'like him', and in all honesty, probably doesn't know anyone 'like him'. That's the disconnect, as well as the obvious. And it makes my skin crawl that possibly he meant 'guys like him' as in misogynistic creeps. I'm fairly certain that's not what he meant. At least I hope not because that would be an even uglier can of worms and a more dire state of affairs.
As for the Patreon thing I wrote about in the last blog... My apologies, but it's not gonna happen. I'm taking the page down. My everlasting thanks to those who expressed an interest in it, but I don't have the time as the winds have shifted and fortune is blowing in a new creative direction -- one I've come to realize I've wanted for a very long time -- so I'm going for it. My hats off to those creators who make those kind of platforms work for them, and I'm in love with the idea of artists supporting artists, but for now, I'm going to step down, and instead, support the friends I have on there and applaud from the sidelines.
There isn't much more to tell because I've been diligently crossing my t's and dotting my i's, and making certain all of my bases are covered. It's not glamorous, but it is necessary so I don't repeat some of my mistakes from the past. I don't mind making mistakes as long as I learn from them.
So in the meantime, be true to yourself and fuck the naysayers and bullies at large. Make the world a bigger and brighter place, and not smaller and meaner. Be kind to yourself and to those around you. I don't know what else -- don't be an asshole? That kind of goes without saying...
Much love from where the worlds touch,
S - xx